Sam Speaks

The End.

2006-03-23T19:12:00.000-06:00

Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone - but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding.
Bette Davis
US movie actress (1908 - 1989)

Well folks, it's over. As of 1pm yesterday, Big and I have parted ways for good. He was extremely anxious to have the chat, and even made an effort to avoid it. But in the end, I cornered him at the local cafe and over a cesar salad, I got dumped. The reason? He's still in love with his ex-wife and he's lying to family, friends, me, and himself if he doesn't deal with it. Now for those of you that don't know Big, that could sound like a totally plausable reason. However, I know better. You see, the evening previous, he called me frantic and asked me if I had been attempting to hack into his mobile phone account online. Of course, I hadn't. He then made the fatal mistake of telling me that he called his ex first to ask her if she had done it. Now, if you hadn't had any contact with someone, why would you be suspicious of them snooping your personal information? After two hours on the phone with his sister, we put the puzzle pieces together. After her phone call to him the day we went to the doctor and the aftermath of avoidance, it was apparent that things were simply getting too close for comfort for him. It's obvious that he's been talking with her again, even so far as discussing getting back together in my opinion. In an effort to avoid the same thing that happened to us three years ago (he got busted trying to get back together with her while dating me), he bailed.

He tells me that he believes in the theory that there is one person for each of us...not a theory that I subscribe to, but that's another story. He believes it is in his soul because "she's not that pretty, and she doesn't have a great body" (yes, his words verbatim, not mine). He says that in his mind, he knows that she is the one that he is supposed to be with. Now if that was the case, why would he have continued his drug habit when she told him that would end their relationship? Why would he have continued to drink to the point that he ended their relationship? Why would he have cheated on her? Once at the beginning and many times since then.... He's a sad, sad man and it breaks my heart that he can't see that life is so much better than what he has with this woman. But then again, no one could tell me that when I was with him, either. Love is a silly, silly thing.

I didn't fight, argue, or throw a fit. I just let him go. It's the only thing I can do to make anything right. I know in my heart that she will be back in his life in a very short time, and it will hurt me so deeply. But I also know that if that is what is destined for me...a life without him, then I must go forward and move on. I told him it was the end, and I meant it. Only I will know what he will lose by losing me. And trust me when I say, he lost a lot. Too bad he'll never know.

The End.

Avoidance

2006-03-21T18:41:00.000-06:00

Is that even a word? Anyway...

Eight days and counting that I haven't spent with Big. One comment here, the stress of this situation works better at purging my system than any amount of water. I'm doing better on my diet on the bright side (no gorging meals or drunk fests) but I'm still bad in my emotional state. All of my friends say, and I am starting to believe, that this is intentional. Since last Monday, we've had 2 hours at the doctor on Thursday and 30-odd minutes at my house for lunch yesterday (free meal anyone?). I'm torn to pieces because I can't seem to nail him down long enough to figure out what is going on in his mind. I don't know if it is me, if it is the X-wife, or something completely other than that. Before I could even present him with the idea of doing anything last night, he took up an invitation to a friend's house for dinner. He didn't bother to call me when he got back from her house around 11, which is even worse. I popped the idea out nice and early today (before any better options became available) and he deferred to work, asking me to ask him later. As I post, he's in the bathtub and I'm awaiting his call back. Will he wait until it is too late for anything? I've got to get to the bottom of this because it is tearing me up inside. My worst fear is that he has become a prisoner of his worst demons, and that is something that I simply cannot live with, let alone compete with. Addiction is nothing that anyone can overcome but the person subject to it.

If we don't get together tonight to figure out what is going on between us, then I fear that this will only turn into one of those things that fades away with no explanation. Wed-Sat are committed to school and that means that this will extend into Sunday, and then some because this conversation cannot happen when he has his son. Given that he already broke my heart once, I can't say that it is breaking...but it is certainly aching to believe that this is going right down the same path that it did before. I guess I should have learned my lesson the first time. Sometimes....love just ain't enough.

You know what...screw this, I ought to just drive over there. Nothing will work quite as well as just putting myself in his face and demanding an answer. Damnitall, I think I am entitled to that much.

In a Desperate Attempt....

2006-03-19T11:04:00.000-06:00

....to motivate myself, I am starting a new thing. Gym Points! Every time I go to the gym, I will give myself a point. If I do extra work at the gym, I might even get two points. Each 10 points, I will reward myself with something. Not sure what...maybe a new pair of shoes or a pretty outfit that makes me feel good about myself. (I do have to begin shopping for suits for my Washington D.C. trip mid-June)Then maybe I will motivate myself to keep going. I hit my mini-goal today (another major surprise considering the way I have been waffling about this diet again) so I guess I'm on my way.

I guess Big is coming out of his depressive funk. The phone calls were consistent yesterday. Probably one every 3-4 hours throughout the day. He even called to tell me he was getting in the bath so that in case I called, and he didn't answer, I wouldn't freak out that he wasn't picking up the phone. I'm almost tempted to begin keeping a log of these activities to see if I can discern a pattern of behavior with him. Maybe it'll help him when/if he ever goes to this shrink he was referred to.

Nutrifrosted Flakes for breakfast. I really like this one. I just wish I had the blueberries to put in it like they have on the picture. Yum...

Damn it's early for a Saturday

2006-03-18T08:34:00.000-06:00

Preface: Everything is relative and I really don't have that much to bitch about, but this is tough for ME and only ME so hopefully that is understood.

8:31am. Awake since 7:48pm. Have no idea what time I passed out last night. Yes, another night of drinking and beating myself up for a day of unanswered phone calls from Big.

Had lunch w/ two compadres from work, both of which basically told me I had to get out of this relationship that has made me a real jerk to be around. Even my friends at school have noticed that I haven't been the same Fun Bobby (to pull from a friend's recent post) that I was last semester. In the final 6 months of 2005, I was fun ... happy ... smiling ... having a good time. In the first 3 months of 2006, I have been moody ... depressed ... unhappy ... complaining ... gaining weight ... an all around jerk to be around.

Last night after work, thanks to my friend's view of things, I just wanted to go home and crawl into the couch and die. But instead, I took from my personal development plan recently crafted in my Leading Organizations class, and I fought to expand my interpersonal skills. Translation: I went out anyway. I met up with some of the guys from Engineering (I'm the only girl at these things it seems...another strange facet of my life) and had 3 or 4 glasses of white wine. I sat with Jeremy, another young coworker, and had a heart to heart about our careers. He also seemed a bit down, but then again, it seems that he's been that way ever since his baby was born. I guess the exhaustion of being a new father has changed his personality quite a bit.

I did have a short phone call with Big around 7:00pm to which he replied that he was alseep and didn't answer my phone calls. This was crap considering that he called me and when I returned his call only minutes later, he didn't pick up his phone. No one falls asleep that fast.

Anyway, after too many glasses of wine, I stopped by Jack in the Crack and ordered myself something good and fattening and came home and gorged. And then I was about to pass out on the couch when the phone rang. I rushed to it thinking that it was Big, but it wasn't. It was one of my managers at the office. He asked me if I was still out, to which I replied "No". And then he asked me the most horrifying of all questions. "Did you go home with Jeremy?" WHAT??? I told that man off. Yes, Jeremy is extremely attractive, driven, ambitious, youthful. I love Jeremy to death. But that man is MARRIED and I wouldn't touch that with a 10-foot pole. It is so irritating that people can misconstrue a close friendship into an adulterous affair. Perhaps I need to become more professional in my exchanges in order to prevent the misunderstanding again. And yet, there I would go again, compromising myself and my personality, just to avoid difficulty. I struggle with that.

Anyway, the end result is this. My dislike of my current life is not as well controlled as others. I eat for comfort, I wallow in the guilt, and my self-esteem sinks further into the bottom of the bucket. Here I was hoping to have a nice kid-free weeekend with my supposed boyfriend, and I'll be sitting around my newly cleaned house (I thank God every day that he sent me such a wonderful housekeeper) wondering where the hell I went wrong when I made the choice to get back together with Big. That and doing my Accounting assignment on Dell stock. Considering I work for HP, that should be intersting. I'll have to make some snide remarks.

How do I fix it? I return to the lunch I had earlier. "Just get out" Kris says. He's become the master of the art of the 2 week relationship. Divorce will do that to a guy. He dates these young (23-26) girls (he's 32) and then bails on them after whatever fun they have. Me, on the other hand, throw myself in mind and body, and can't get out because I'm too far in. If I walk away unjustified, on some petty technicality, I'll only be furthering the conception that women are weak in Big's mind and that they run on the first sign of trouble. No matter what, getting out has to be done in such a way that he knows it is HIM and and not ME. But that won't change the fact that everyone he works with will think that I'm the evil bitch and that it's all my fault. I never should have dipped my pen in the company ink.

Okay, I have blabbed for far to long on my soap opera drama. I'm taking my laptop and heading back to bed to do my Accounting homework. Maybe today will be a better day. One phone call will change everything. That is ... if he calls.

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

2006-03-16T19:28:00.000-06:00

Big and I were at the doctor today to talk about his ADD and the doctor questioned whether or not he is manic depressive. Okay, not the best diagnosis, but we were referred to a phychologist for testing. While this wasn't the total answer, it was one step in right direction to help him. And just when I thought I was moving forward, the phone rang and we took two steps back. It was his ex-wife. He fumbled and bumbled with his phone trying to get to the message stating he was "nervous" about why she was calling. If he was nervous, I was terrified. He listened to the message first, and then let me hear it. She said "uhhhhhhhh........" and hung up. What in the hell does that mean? If it was a mistake to dial him, why not hang up the minute she heard his voice? And if it wasn't a mistake, what lies ahead of us? You see, this is March and it is tax season. She comes around every Spring, like a bad allergy, to wreak havoc on everyone. Big is a weak man and can't seem to deal with this woman on any level, and I know that if she comes back, he's bound to cave to her manipulative ways. I just can't deal with this again.

I was given the advice to confront him on it and tell him that I wanted him to call her right then and there and find out what she wants. For my peace of mind (and his, for that matter), I think that would be the best thing to do. I have to know if this raving bitch is going to come back and destroy my life and his again. At least if I know now, we can part as friends with the end finally being defined and not as enemies as we did before. I love this man, but I have to believe that I am #1 in that special someone's life. If he can't put me before all else, then I know we are through. It will break my heart yet again, but I will say that this will be the last time.

In my time of struggle, I'm balancing an NS dinner w/ a drink. I have to have something to calm my nerves as I deal with my mental anguish, while at the same time, racing against the clock to beat a deadline on my new responsibilities at work. It's going to be a late night, no matter what.

Confused

2006-03-14T13:05:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I cheated and got on the scale this morning. I seem to have dropped to 134, down from 137, though I'm not sure how. I have been struggling this week with the right choices. Okay, so it's only Tuesday and I can't beat myself up that badly. Sunday was good until dinner when I blew it. You see, I was depressed because I had just spent 6 hours in front of my computer writing my business law final and wanted to go out (can you say "cabin fever"?). Much to my chagrin, Big decided he had to work instead of meeting me for dinner as I had asked earlier in the day. Follow that up by a mental moment on my part (yes, I was psycho chick for a minute) when I drove to hise house because there was yet another string of unanswered phone calls...it was a rough night. For the record, he was in the shower.

Anyway, Monday started out okay. 2 cups of milk for breakfast and every intention of eating a well balanced NS lunch. Unfortunately, that didn't work out when I went to tan with Big and we stopped at Taco Bell for lunch. I chose the Chicken Ceasar Grilled Stuft Burrito which I was later horrified to discover had 670 calories and 32 grams of fat in it. Since I had blown it already, I kept on with one too many Crown & 7's with Big. The good part of the evening was that I ended up getting a decent workout. :-) Even though I've gained 7 lbs back, Big still says I'm sexy as ever, and for all of his shortcomings, he's got me feeling good about that.

So, how the hell did I seem to lose 3 lbs? I really don't think that I did. It must be attributed to the fact that I'm taking the green pills this week (I believe the term "TOM" was officially banned by BobEsq?? LOL) and I'm unloading a whole lot of water that I have been carrying around.

I SWEAR I am going to the gym this week. If I don't and stay as is, I'll have to go put down cash for a pair of size 6 pants and I really don't want to do that. But if I go on much longer, I'll be able to read the print on the back of my pants button embedded in my squishy stomach.

Final note: I ate a healthy breakfast this morning and enjoyed that well-balanced NS lunch that I was going to eat yesterday. Now if I can just make it through dinner without doing anything stupid, I might not feel so guilty!!!

Sunny Sunday

2006-03-12T16:22:00.000-06:00

...and I'm inside. Boy that sucks. It's 86 degrees outside, hot for Spring, but normal for Texas. It'll be awhile before my body aclimates to this weather, so until then, the air conditioner will be running. I've spent the last 4 hours in front of my computer finishing up my Business Law final (Bob, where are you when I need you!!!) and it's not my best work - but at this point, the idea is to finish without straining myself to the point of a brain anyuerism. I'm serious, I have a horrible headache.

On the personal front, after a bunch of non-returned phone calls and some yelling, things are back to normal with Big (which is how I will refer to him furthermore). Yes, I have a Sex & The City complex, and if you had ever watched it, I am the living proof of Carrie Bradshaw, without the perfect body or curly hair. Big was the man that kept coming in and out of her life, giving her a complex every time it happened. Big and I talked today about nothing, after he dropped his son back off at his mother's house. I think his son was ready to go home and play w/ his friends after a week of being at his Dad's house. We were going to go to dinner tonight, but he opted to go home and work. Whatever.

Two Tylenol and a brief interlude of blogging and I'm ready to get back to my paper. Only a little bit left and then I get to turn to my domestic duties: laundry, filing, and maybe even do my taxes. I need that money to pay off my remaining bills and finally get debt free. One more step towards peaceful living :-)

Long Time, No Post

2006-03-10T21:14:00.000-06:00

Hey all, I'm back. It's been a tough few months between school, work, and life.

School
Only 13 weeks left of my first year of the MBA and I'm surviving the best I can. We just made it through the rougest transition of the first year. The dreaded Mini 4/5 transition - Finance, Accounting, overlapped with Business Law, Leading Organizations, Cost Accounting, and Negotiations. I still haven't finished my B-Law final; that will be done Sunday since the professor graciously extended the deadline to midnight on Monday. Nothing like waiting until the very end. Procrastination is NOT your friend, just in case you were wondering.

Work
Recently went through yet another re-org at work and got a new job in the "official" project management office. That translates to me doing the job I got hired to do nearly 24 months ago, but never managed to get to do. I've got 2 big assignments that I've been given, and I'm still doing my old job as a seamless transition is key to maintaining business. It's just out of the frying pan and into the fryer though for what I will be doing. They've basically moved me from one shitty product line to another and I'll be doing the same stuff all over again, only on a larger scale with more visibility. While I always rise to the challenge, it's especially hard given the School factor above.

Life
Thanks to Rod for the following terminology. I recently "un-ex'd" my ex-boyfriend (as of February) and it's been quite hectic. We started talking again last November when his ex-wife left him for the last time (I know, berate me now for taking him back) and kept up communications through the time that he decided he "wanted to give it a go". In the last month, we've been out to three events in which he got raging drunk, the last of which he was so bad, he could barely walk. We had to spend $10 on a taxi cab to take us from one side of Reliant Arena to another. He slept in the garage in the car (mind you, I could have killed him because I left the windows rolled up) and when he came to at 9am the next morning, he seemed virtually unaffected by his sleeping conditions. Since that night, things have been increasingly wierd with him. To be honest, he needs to be "re-ex'd" (again, Rod's word, not mine) but I'm just not sure how to proceed. We have an appointment for the doctor on Monday to try to get him back on his adult ADD medicine in hopes that his behaviors will be controlled, but I have a bad feeling he's going to cancel on me. Oh yeah, I have to have my car detailed too as a result of him sweating an extreme amount of Crown Royal into my passenger seat. My car stinks worse than anything I've ever smelled before. I gagged when I got in to go to school this morning.

In Summary
The combination of all of the above has led me to stop taking care of myself because I'm taking care of everything and everyone else. I've gained 7 lbs because I've been eating like crap and drinking far too much myself. I put my jeans on yesterday and by the end of the day, I had creases in my stomach from the indent of wearing something WAY too tight all day. And these jeans used to fit perfectly. My face is bloated and my thighs are getting way too soft. I can barely walk up 2 flights of stairs to my classroom, which is only exacerbated by the fact that I've been smoking a lot lately too. I feel like shit and I hate myself for letting it all go after 4 months of holding on to 130.

Here I am coming into the summer, tanning to get ready for bathing suit season, and I am getting further and further away from wearing one. Of course, if I break up wtih the on-again/off-again ex, I won't need one as his boat will disappear with him. Here I was looking forward to a break from school and some fun time outside, and I have a feeling I'm going to be all alone again. I hate those days when I look at myself and have to ask the question, "How in the hell did you get here???"

Special Thanks to BobEsq for keeping me coming back for more and knowing that even if I don't write, there are others out there going through the same.

Review Time

2006-01-03T13:55:00.000-06:00

Okay, ultra-short post right now. I'm about to go into my 1:1 w/ my boss. Our reviews are due by 1/10 and if he doesn't have mine today, I'm going to seriously freak. It's "out of the norm" for my boss to wait until the last minute, so I'm really wanting to figure out what is going ot happen. You see, they changed the ranking and this year it is not "forced" which means that there is no excuse for getting a shitty ranking other than the fact that your boss thinks you suck. Seeing as how we aren't always on the same page, I'm really wondering how this is going to go for me. The year before I worke for this guy, I was a standout. I had a job created FOR me specifically, I was made an MVP and sent to Disney for free, I was given a major project with significant visibility, and I was sent to an $80 education on the company dime. Since then....zippo, and I'm not talking about the lighter.

Okay folks, here goes nothing. If he doesn't have the review prepped, I'm going to be so pissed off. I'll update later on the results.

Happy New Year!!!

2006-01-01T10:51:00.000-06:00

My resolutions this year:

1. Be a better blogger. BobEsq, you are such an inspiration. I need to reach out for support and see if I can't get shamed into doing as well as the rest of you guys on NS!!! :-)

2. Be a better student. Grades for Mini 4 came out, and while they were nothing to be ashamed of, they certainly weren't anything to write home about. I resolve to study more and chat less during class.

3. Get to 125 lbs! I know I can do this because my thighs are still sloppy full of fat and there is 5 lbs to lose between them (litterally between them - I have that gross fat that smooshes my thighs together).

4. Exercise a little every day! No matter how small, I must resolve to get a little bit of exercise each day and report it here on the blog so that I know that I am making progress. I will use the NS exercise log as a template and then maybe even go back to the gym!

5. Be a little happier. So I'm alone, yes. But that doesn't mean that I have to go back to my ex every time I get lonely. I made that mistake last night and he bailed on me again. Why can't I get it through my thick skull that he is just using me while he gets over his own ex issues? Grrrrrr.....

6. Go on a date. It has been, officially, 18 months since I have been out on a real, genuine date. I'm not an ugly girl (I don't think - you see for yourself, I'm the one on the left) and I think that I could get a date. But how? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated from my NS friends.

7. Spend a little time w/ myself each week. I tend to get wrapped up in work and school, believing that these activities are so much more epic than they really are, that I forget to spend a little time on myself. I need some down time this year.

8. Get out of DEBT! I am so close and I just need to get over that last bump to pay off all of the bills and be totally debt free! Not bad for having just bought a house 2 years ago (offiially Feb 27th).

9. Move back to real food and see if I can maintain my weight loss. NS has been a blessing but I can't revolve my life around it forever. I must learn to do this on my own and hopefully my wallet won't be as heavy each month for food. That's going to take some serious food/budget analysis.

10. Say something nice to someone every day. I love to make people smile and so if I can do that for someone every day, I think that will be a good thing for 2006! Happy people are the best!

Happy New Year to you all and I wish you many lbs. lost and joys lived this year!!!

Lunch Time!

2005-12-12T11:50:00.000-06:00

Well, I think I've finally mastered the art of the fettucini alfredo...you have to put about an inch less water in the container or it comes out like soup. Gross. I like mine ooey gooey sticky ;-) I've come to really enjoy my meals with NS and am sad to say that this will be my last shipment (being packed up and delivered today). While I have become so dependent on the ease in which it is all put together (it takes me about 2 minutes to pack a lunch in the morning and about 5 minutes to make dinner at night now), the truth is I just can't afford it anymore. I've reworked my budget for the next year and it just doesn't fit. Groceries are now the second largest expense in my overall budget for the last quarter. That's crazy. I've calculated that this arrangement is costing me about $9/day in food. That's a lot of money when you think about it. If I were to switch over to turkey sandwich on wheat bread for lunch, that would bring the cost down significantly. I've decided to stick w/ something like Lean Cuisine for dinner though rather than cooking for myself. I know my discipline is not there yet. I will eat until I pass out...which is something I did this past Saturday. A couple of glasses of red wine and I was starving...and I ate a whole ton of these little fried things that were to die for and the cheese and meat rings wrapped in torilla. Horrible.

So, I guess it is a good thing that I pushed my weigh-in day out to Wednesdays. I have a few days to get back on track and allow my body to purge all of the garbage I eat on the weekends. At least I know I can still have a few good things as long as I am disciplined the rest of the week. Proof is in the fat-free pudding - I have been off/on with the discipline and have kept the weight off for 2 months now. I honestly don't think that it is feasible for me to hit the 125 mark because my body just isn't shaped like that. At 5'7", I think 128 is a decent size. Now I just need to get into the gym and start working off the "jiggly" parts. Somehow, with school and work, I've got to figure out how to fit it in. It's SO HARD!!! Ugh.

One Day at a Time

2005-12-08T21:38:00.000-06:00

Okay, this is a Bailey's inspired post. Just a quick note. All along, I have strived to be what everyone else wants me to be. Successful, rich, thin....what about what I want???? Dammit...I started this NS because I wanted to be happy with myself and so be it...I will be. I am where I want to be in my weight ... if not my shape ... and I am loving it. So now it is one day at a time. Things have changed drastically over the last 2.5 years I have been in Houston and I realized tonight that I am not the only one that is changing. Everything has changed around me and I've been so deliberate in my effort to isolate myself that I never saw it change. A good girlfriend of mine told me to "be careful" but go with whatever my heart said. So I'm going to do just that. Let's hope that I am careful AND right for a change. I need something to break out of this hole that I've been living in that has been protecting me from the big bad world of hurt that is out there. The new Sam is ready to take on the world, knowing that she is smart enough (and thin enough!) to be okay! Wish me luck folks!!!! I'll post more details as soon as I'm done w/ my last classes!!!

Get'cher PomPom's Here!!!

2005-11-27T11:23:00.000-06:00

First, before I EVEN get started, what in the hell is with all of this blog-spam? (Yes, I'm making a wholehearted effort to start a new word. I'm bored today.) It takes me longer to delete (...forever!!!) these random advertisements for weight loss pills and bowling alleys than it does to write my random, senseless thoughts down. What a pain in my ass. And many of yours I'm sure too. I would like to find one of these blog-spammers and kick them in the crotch. Why can't they go back to the old ways of sticking flyers door to door and leave me (and you) alone? Grrr....

Anyway, back to the point of being here. PomPom's. No, I'm not venturing into the art of cheerleading. You see, I've never been very good at motivating people a la Tony Robbins or that insane exercise guy w/ the ponytail. Okay, in searching for that last picture, I scratched my head and began to wonder if all Tony's are motivators....hmmmm, fodder for another blog post. Anyway, last week, a friend of a coworker stopped by our offices. She used to sit across the hall from me and then got transferred to another building in another job. I want to say that the last time I saw her was late summer. This would equate to about 15 or so lbs. ago. She tells our friend Kris that I look a lot different and he tells her "She went on Jenny Craig or something." GASP! WHAT?? Fortunately, she sent me a little instant message and I got her on the straight and narrow of the joys of Nutrisystem.

Now, I will admit that I have shamelessly plugged NS in the hopes of bringing others to the program, not only for their health, but also for my own $15 benefit. Amazingly enough, she has joined the program. I really had no intention of selling anyone on anything this time around. I guess I was just so excited (still) about the progress that I've made, that it came through with PomPom's and flare! :-) Go Figure. So welcome Christina to the world of NS!!

As an endnote, a special note to Bob. There is no "think" about it...you have slimmed down amazingly in the face. I commend you and cannot wait for you to reach your goal. As for your ears, I am the reigning queen of Dumboland. I was born with ears that stick straight out from my head (long story, but if I ever found the nurse that didn't take care of my premature head when I was born, I'd take care of HERS personally!). I was subject to intense embarrassment as as kid because of them, and even now, the random comment comes up (the last being from my weasel ex-boyfriend that decided to make fun of me to his guy friends...too bad I didn't get to tell everyone about all of his faults....no, it wouldn't be appropriate to graphically depict THAT comment...). Don't let the comments get you down - your ears do NOT look big, and take it from someone that's had to look at big ears for 30 years.

I am a Tater Tot

2005-11-12T13:41:00.000-06:00

You are Tater Tots. Go get your own!!

Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'd much rather eat one than be one. But that's what gets me into trouble dammit! I seem to be going UP 3 and doing DOWN 3 every two weeks. I suppose it better than going UP 3 and staying there, but oh my god...at what point can I say that I can be at 127 and stay? Probably never. I think that my body size has me at a lower limit of 130. I should be so god damned grateful considering that I spent the bulk of my entire high school years at 140 (with boys asking me if I was pregnant) and then on up to 155, nearly 160 at my worst. I know I am supposed to be happy with this, but all I see is fat thighs. At least my butt isn't totally flat this time. I was reading Bob's blog (see link to the right) and I totally understand the feeling of knowing that you've dropped weight but that you simply can't see it. Humans have a warped sense of reality. It's sad. I guess I need to try to get into the gym more often - I've gone at least once in the last 2 weeks, but I need to go more. I must get these jiggly thighs down to a controllable, or at the very least acceptable, size.

Speaking of jiggly, go here: The Jiggly Butt (WARNING: PARENTAL ADVISORY - EXPLICIT CONTENT - DO NOT WATCH IF YOU DON'T LIKE SWEARING) I nearly fell off of my office chair when I watched this. There are more in the series. This squirrel is really, sincerely, completely pissed off.

Okay, it's time for lunch. Think I'm going to have some Broccoli Soup (I am ADDICTED TO IT) and salad. Think I may be all out of milk. Have to go to the grocery store anyway. Headed out to a friends house this afternoon for a turkey fry. Yes...all of this talk about me having to buckle down and I'm going to a turkey fry. I am the one bringing mass quantities of veggies though so I'll be sticking to that and maybe just a little turkey. Not enough to make anything jiggle more than necessary.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend!! :-)

127 and shrinking (but not much more)

2005-11-01T12:06:00.000-06:00

Well, I started the gym again last week. Worked out 3 days and it already made a difference...I noticed it in my butt. Strange enough, but even 3 days on the elliptical seemed to make things perk up just a little. That was when I knew that I had to make a committment to exercise as a part of my program. It's hard for me because it is not exactly the most exciting thing in the world, but my coworkers make it easy for me now that we all work out together at lunch! Besides the obvious health benefits, it's always fun to watch the girl w/ new boobs and her puppy dog boyfriend. He actually wipes her machines down for her. We have yet to see him actually break a sweat. I speculate that he's just down at the gym to make sure that no one else is getting a handle on the "goods" :) If only he knew that she was showing all of the ladies in the locker room ... "they've dropped nicely and there is no more bruising!" Oh dear. Some people just LIVE for attention. Now before I get hit with a boob-buyer's backlash...I don't have anything against people that procure extra body parts...it's just not MY thing. And trust me, it's not that I don't need them...it's a bitch trying to find a 36A anywhere, but that's what God gave me so I'm living with it.

Anyway, just had lunch. Spicy oriental noodles. Love that stuff. I'm really debating whether or not to take another shipment of NS food. In 4 months, I've hit my NS goal and my personal goal is only 2 lbs. behind, which shouldn't be hard now that I'm working out. I've learned so much about portion control, what is good and what isn't, and how to balance my meals so that I don't overdo it at any one sitting. It is worth that last $300 to take another shipment? It means the difference between being 100% out of debt next month and not. Quite the delimma I find myself in.

Going to have to go shopping again soon. Went a few months ago before I was near my goal and bought a lot of size 6 pants, which made me feel WONDERFUL! Well, those 6's don't fit anymore. I'm pinning those in the waistline to keep them from bagging so much. Honestly, if you had told me that I'd be wearing a size 4 under the right circumstances (not crash dieting, but doing it the NS way) I would have told you that you were crazy. When I was a sophomore in high school (15 years ago?), a boy actually asked me if I was pregnant because of my stomach. I would love that jackass to see me now. :-) At the time, I was about 140 lbs, but the weight was so noticeable because I had gained 20 lbs. over the summer. Puberty and babysitting Satan's spawn did nothing for me that summer. I ate everything in sight and got fat nearly overnight. I still have the stretch marks to prove it (I wish they were from kids instead!). Well...now that I have managed to get those days under control, it is just a daily reminder about how far I've come in this path. Self-reflection can be pretty fun sometimes :-)

Okay...back to work. Lunch is over. Lots to do!! And at least I can say I'm doing it with a NS Smile on my face!!

I feel Grrrrrrreat!

2005-10-13T11:11:00.000-05:00

Okay, having buckled down and gotten back to my NS diet, I am feeling great. And my body seems to be responding so much better again. This on again, off again, movement from NS food to real food seems to remind my body not to get stagnant. I stepped on the scale this morning (cheater!) just to see how things have been going this week and I've already peeled off 2 lbs of the total 3 that I gained in the last 2 weeks. I'm certain I will get all 3 off by this Sunday's weigh in. And then I just have to stick to water and diet soda at the Astro's game (ok...maybe ONE Michelob Ultra?) so that I feel good about what progress I am going to make next week. I am bound and determined to get to this 125 goal!! I have yet to turn in my paperwork to join my coworkers at the on-campus gym. It's sitting here on my desk, filled out...but do you think I have the diligence to actually walk it down to the gym (which so happens to be on the other side of campus). Ironic, isn't it? I won't exercise my self over to the gym so that I can exercise myself on a daily basis. This doesn't bode well. The good thing about all of this is that nearly everyone on my team works out in the afternoon so I know that I have the support that I need when it comes to those days that you just don't want to peel yourself out of your chair. If I ever want to get 125, it's going to have to come with some gym time. As Adam Sandler says....."YOU CAN DO IT" :-)

All that Glitters is a Gold Bear

2005-10-09T11:32:00.000-05:00

Oh man, don't I feel guilty now?? I just opened my latest NS shipment (it's been sitting in my kitchen for about 4 days now unopened, duh) and found what you see in the picture! I had hit my goal right before that shipment and now my happy gold bear sits right in front of my computer screen. Talk about a good reminder on what it is that I'm doing. I'm going to peel that 3 lbs off IMMEDIATELY so that I know that I am deserving of this little guy. And then on to the ultimate goal of 125 and fabulous!

Oh so irresponsible

2005-10-09T10:54:00.000-05:00

Well, after 2 weeks of school straight, I'm back to a normal schedule. Unfortunately, the damage has been done. I've gained 3 lbs. in the last 2 weeks from being irresponsible about my eating habits. I guess at some point in the diet, you say to yourself, HEY! I've lost this much weight already, I deserve a break! But that's not the right attitude to have when you haven't even reached your goal yet. I still have 5 lbs. to go and I've all but stopped my NS discipline.

Oktoberfest on campus last night and the beer was flowing. It's nice to be able to sit around after school, get to know your classmates and families, and have a drink or two. Unfortunately, that doesn't do anything for my waistline. I'm feeling guilty, but I know that I'm responsible for my own actions and have to fix them to be able to get to where I want to go on this diet. Everyone gets low now and again...I'm just trying to pick myself back up and do better.

Got an A in my corporate strategy class, which means a lot to me. Bad team papers helped me to get a B+ in my leadership class, which I wasn't too happy about. But I did learn a lot from that class which is the whole point of the matter. Still waiting on 2 more grades. Mini 2 is over in 2 weeks - I can hardly believe how quickly it is going by. There are only 11 mini's in this program and I'm nearly done with two? Where has the time gone???

First faculty meeting is tomorrow. That should be interesting. Being student rep has some very serious advantages - I'm just hoping that I can use those advantages to do something really great for this school. When an institution gives you so much, I think it is your duty to give back. If not, what's the point of being there? You can't go through life totally selfish. That's no way to live.

The ex-boyfriend is being a total jerk again, so I've finally come to the decision to write him off completely. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt again...that's what love will do to you. The fact of the matter is that he hasn't changed one bit. I don't think so much of myself to think that he has to be absolutely, insanely crazy about me, but I still think he should want to at least see me or talk to me. For whatever reason, he's pretty much written off the whole weekend...you know, the "I have this and that and this and that to do....". When your gut tells you something just ain't right, listen to it. And that's what I'm doing. So bye bye Mr. Ex....you've been given your last chance. Strike 3 - you're out.

Anyway, lots of house chores to do and then it's time to get outside and enjoy this weather. It's a beautiful day in Houston, Texas - reminiscent of a spring day in my old hometown in California. Those days are few and far between here and so you have to take advantage of them as much as you can.

I didn't get tagged..but who cares?

2005-09-26T00:01:00.000-05:00

This post from Bob's site looked like so much fun, I had to participate.

6 Things I Want To Do:

1) Graduate...soon.
2) Lose 2 more lbs and see some muscle.
3) Go to Italy.
4) Find a (good) boyfriend. (this is probably closer to #1)
5) Stop smoking.
6) Speak Spanish fluently.

6 Things I Can Do:

1) Kick anyone's ass in Twister.
2) Listen to enough Spanish to know if you're saying rude things about my mother.
3) Break and fix a computer in one day.
4) Drink 3 beers and be drunk.
5) Build a sweet dog house.
6) Prepare for a hurricane (damn you Rita!)

6 Things I Can't Do:

1) Put my legs behind my head. (I need to start taking yoga)
2) Write my name in the snow.
3) Go back and do high school all over again with "what I know now".
4) Shoot a can off of a post. (I'm a horrible aim)
5) Move the sweet dog house by myself. (see #5 above)
6) Strangle my boss.

6 Things That Make Me Attractive To The Opposite Sex:

1) My smile
2) My genius (thanks to Joey for that one)
3) My sense of humor
4) My ability to drink 3 beers and be drunk.
5) My generosity
6) My vulnerability

6 Things I Say All Of The Time:

1) "Jesus!"
2) "What the Fuck!"
3) "Dude....."
4) "No way..."
5) "Fucking men..."
6) "Is it time to go home yet?"

6 Celebrity Crushes:

1) Mark Ruffalo
2) Ewan McGregor (Moulin Rouge, not Star Wars!)
3) Kyle McLachlan
4) Paul Newman
5) Julian McMahon
6) Angelina Jolie (come on guys, she's hot)

I DID IT!!!

2005-09-25T15:39:00.000-05:00

I have reached my NS goal weight of 127 and have only TWO lbs. to lose to reach my personal goal weight of 125!!! For the first time in two years, I can look at myself in the mirror and say that I am happy with what I see!! My thighs no longer sag over my knees. My jaw line is actually defined and it doesn't look like I have an egg on top of my neck. My muscle lines are finally coming back. I am starting the gym next week at the office w/ friends to really make good on that victory. My stomach is still poochy (girls, you know what I am talking about here) but some sit-ups and/or crunches should solve that. I am working on doing lunges and squats to see if I can't get my butt back (it is horrifically flat right now).

And the joy of it all? This weekend as us Houstonians braved Hurricane Rita (I really didn't brave anything because it moved far enough east to spare me any damage, thank you god) my ex-boyfriend came over (recall the slug post) and told me that I've looked better than I ever have before. Okay...so besides the ego boost, it melted my heart at the same time that my brain screamed "TOO LITTLE TOO LATE!!!" But either way, to have your weight loss recognized and appreciated is the biggest victory ever.

I am so glad that I joined NS. I have to call them first thing in the AM to see if they will put my goal bear in this month's shipment. It is due to ship tomorrow and I really want that bear. If I stay in for another month (which I haven't decided as of yet), I'll even get the 20 lb. bear. I never thought that I could stay away from fast food or depression long enough to lose 20 lbs. But I guess we can even surprise ourselves. Even though I will go out and treat myself to something fattening and delicious (I gorged at Los Cucos last weekend on queso and fried avacado) I know that it doesn't have to be an everyday thing! To prepare for the hurricane, I cooked up 7 lbs. of frozen chicken breasts in a tasty mesquite marinade and have been enjoying chicken salad w/ fat free ranch dressing for the last few days. I have been trying to incorporate regular foods back in with the NS foods to get my body prepared to go off of the diet. I haven't eaten McDonalds since I started the diet. I ate Taco Bell once (when I was late for school and was starving). I am so proud of myself!!

For all of those that are on NS and have been working hard to lose the weight, keep it up! I know I only lost 20 lbs and that is a far cry from the magnificent accomplishments that some of you have achieved, but 20 lbs to me is nearly a lifetime of feeling bad about myself. To me, I've finally made it. :-)

Catch Up Post

2005-09-11T10:26:00.000-05:00

Okay guys....my rate of success at updating this damn site is horrible. School is kicking my ass (and not in a good way) and I have barely enough time to breathe, let alone get to my blog and update which really stinks. I was tagged about 3 weeks ago by my friend Bob and didn't even have the decency to respond (only because I just pulled it up today). So for whatever it may be worth, here is my response...

1. What is the ratio of sexy panties to granny panties currently in your possession?

I'd say that the proportion is about 50/50 but that is only because I haven't gone through and done a sort lately. Normally, underwear has a three stage life cycle in my drawer...."sexy", "not so sexy", and "why is the elastic falling off?" Then they go in the trash.

2. Pretend you won one of those "make your dreams come true" deals that Oprah is always giving away. What would you ask for ?

I would ask for a house for my parents in San Francisco or San Diego so that they could retire in peace where they want to be.

3. Describe your high school days in one word.

Forgettable.

4. If you could shag any celebrity in the world, who would be your top 3 picks?

(1) Sting (somewhere between the accent, the biceps, and the mystery of tantric sex...I could die a happy woman)
(2) Kyle MacLachlan (circa the Twin Peaks days....or maybe I'd rather shag the character Agent Dale Cooper....either way I guess)
(3) David Beckham (look at the picture and enough said..what part of that is not shaggable?)

Okay, I think it's time for my Sunday recovery nap. 20 hours of school in 2 days is enough to push me over the edge of exhaustion.

Gratuitous NS Plug

2005-08-21T10:14:00.000-05:00

I am feeling so good today. Homework is finished, waiting on responses back for edits. I lost 2 lbs this last week too!!! That's the first time in about a month I've dropped that much in a week. I think with school and the food that I eat there, it has taken some time for my body to adjust to the other foods being consumed there. And then there was all of the beer - I think my body was holding a little too much water after that first weekend.

Folks, never in my WILDEST dreams, would I have EVER seen myself losing 13 lbs on a diet. I have struggled with my weight ever since I was 14 years old. I spent an entire summer babysitting for working moms in my neighborhood...all day, 8-10 hours. Needless to say, not all of the kids were angels and so I ignored them and ate all of the food in the refrigerator. I came back to school my sophomore year weighing 20 lbs more than when I had left. This invited people to ask me if I was pregnant. Talk about embarassing when you're 15 years old.

Anyway, the point of this whole story is to not give up on your path to weight loss. It may just be that it isn't time for you to lose weight. Or maybe you're just not ready. I've lost weight several times before and gained it all back. I just wasn't disciplined enough to stick to it and make the choice for me to have a healtheir life. Now at 30, things have changed, and I know that my own self-respect is tied to how I feel and how I look - and I'm making the choice to love myself.

So you love yourself too and let NS be your guide. This is a diet that I know I will always have in my corner...and I'm so much better for it!!!

Another Weekend Down

2005-08-14T09:10:00.000-05:00

Oh my word people, you have no idea how happy I am to have made it through this past weekend. I had 3 papers to read, 2 team assignments (one of which I was responsible for), and 19 articles to read. The papers got writte, the team assignments got completed, and a few of the articles got read. But despite my lack of reading I actually made it through the weekend without sounding like a complete dolt. And another fun thing that happened this week...my dogs ate my cell phone. Yes, that is an actual picture of what used to be my connection to the rest of the world. The antenna never "resurfaced" so to speak.

But amazingly enough after all that I have been through, I'm still happy! I made it through the last 2 weeks without gaining any weight, which is great. I went out to eat one day, had 3 glasses of red wine another evening, and last night had 2 small squares of pepperoni pizza and a few beers. I know that this means that in another month, I should be closer than ever to my goal (only 9 lbs left!) and can start to try and do the Nutrisystem thing with my own food. I think I am disciplined enough now to try and get back to life on my own without using food as an excuse!!!

Happy Days!! :-)

Happy Birthday to Meeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2005-08-07T11:41:00.000-05:00

It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to!!! Yes folks, today I am 30 years old, and even better, I'm 30 years old and 11 lbs. lighter. Peeled off one more pound before I entered the new decade, which is always good news in my book. NS has really been such a great thing in my life - good food, good people, even better waistline. Stayed up until 3am talking to my parents on the West Coast. Had I been smart, I would have just bought a plane ticket and flown home. I really do miss the parentals. Other than that, it's been a totally GLAM birthday. I woke up, did the dishes, and vacuumed the carpets. Now I'm headed to Starbucks to work on yet another paper for school. I might even treat myself to a pedicure today!! I know, totally uncalled for...I hope I didn't cause anyone to lose their lunch there. Have a great day everyone!!!

Okay, I outdid myself with that Starbucks pic...I'm still laughing :-)

He's Baaaaaaack

2005-08-05T16:14:00.000-05:00

My boyfriend's back and I'm gonna be in trouble (Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back). 2 years to the day (and 2 days before my 30th birthday which he doesn't even recognize) my ex-boyfriend comes back into my life to say that he's broken up with his ex-wife for the 3rd time (and no, he wasn't married when I was with him, it's just too long of a story to go into here) and that he hopes that we can be friends again. Um....wha? Thanks for playing, what do we have for him Bob? A lifetime supply of regret for not being smarter than that two years ago!!!

Anyway, I digress. I think I will have lost another lb. by the time this week is over. A NS victory today was fitting back into my size 4 jeans (before you get too excited, they're stretch jeans from Gap so they're really like a size 8) and I didn't have muffin top!! Hurrah!!!! Life is good. And on that note, I'm going to go take a nap. I'm damn tired and I need to start writing the 3 papers that I have due next weekend - but not until I get some sleep. More later.....

Overacheiving Assclown

2005-07-31T09:55:00.000-05:00

Dear god, what on earth was I thinking when I decided to go back to school? The professors have told me I should not be having this conversation with myself (let alone talking to myself) for at least 4 weeks, but as the title says, I'm an overachieving assclown. One weekend in and I'm wondering in what alcohol-induced state I decided that it was a good idea to go back to what could conceivably be called one of the most academically competitive colleges in this state! I am in a class of 88 people, of which I believe I am the 87th stupidest person in the class...come on, the odds are in my favor that there is at least one person stupider than me in this graduating class.

So really, the question is why? As you can see, it's been week's since I've blogged. In fact, it was immediately after my speech disaster (I can't cook, remember) that I wrote last time. And now, 2 weeks, 1 doghouse (yes, that is my dog's new house in my backyard), and at least 15 articles later, I'm returning. I'm in big trouble. I've got 3 individual papers to write, one team assignment to complete, and our team charter all by 8am, 8/12. And oh yeah, this coming Sunday is my 30th birthday too so that means I'll be spending that day writing f'ing papers. Oh no wait, I get to go bowling on a group outing with my coworkers that Friday, yahoooooo!!! If you could see me spinning my eyes right now, you'd understand that there aren't enough middle fingers in the world to tell you how I feel about that.

On a high note, I lost one more pound on NS this week. 10 lb. bear, come on down!!!!! :-) Not bad considering I ate like a swine at campus again this weekend and had pizza last night. What was different was that I didn't drink, which I think helped. That, and the coffee which I'm sure is kicking my metabolism into hyperdrive. If it weren't for coffee, I don't think I'd be able to have the faith that I could make it through the next 22 months.

Cheers to all, I'll try and post as I have time, but no promises. Y'all have been so nice to come out and comment. Good to see some people out there that can understand my pain!!

Switching Gears

2005-07-14T22:07:00.000-05:00

So switching gears today, I officially became a Rice Owl. Yes, this is Sammy the Owl - our mascot. I think the only thing keeping me from sticking my head under a rock to hide from our educational idol is the fact that our program is rated as one of the highest in the nation. And speaking of high, can you imagine what you would do if you ran into this thing while you were completely loaded? I think that would scare the living piss out of me.

Today was pretty tough, getting on the road at 6:30am when I'm usually rolling out of bed at 7am, but eventually, I will get into the swing of things. If anything, this is a great excuse to have every other weekend off of work (and if my boss JD or anyone at the office is reading this, which I sincerely doubt, I just want to say....really, I wish I could work on Sunday's to make up for that Friday that I am out .... NOT!!!)

We had to give an impromptu speech today that turned out to be a huge disaster on my part. My topic (discuss amongst yourselves): Name something you wish you had learned in school but didn't. My classmate Francisco, standing out in the hallway and waiting for his turn in another classroom, suggests to me Sex Ed. Lovely. Can you imagine the looks to that one?? "Hi, my name is Samantha, and I never learned how to do IT." Anyway, I opted for something that seemed to imply just that anyway. I said that I never learned to COOK. Talk about braindead. I basically offered up to 12 strangers that I didn't know that I eat nothing but fast food and can't get a date because I can't cook dinner (and everyone knows that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach). For as much as I just wanted to shit and die while I was standing there for my 2 minutes and some odd seconds, the rest of the class had a great laugh at my expense. Why do I see the epitaph "Class Clown" next to my name in the student directory???

p.s. I know I'm going to take some flak from some right wing conservative dickhead out there, so let me disclaim the above link by stating that I am not anti-American; I'm simply anti-Bush, which goes without saying since I am not a lesbian either....not that there is anything wrong with that.

TPS Coversheet...UmmmYeahhhhhhh

2005-07-13T10:24:00.000-05:00

Just so you know, this is what I look like today. Tetris on the computer, cheetos at my side. Only a little less manly. Okay, so I'm a NS'er, I don't have the cheetos but instead a tall bottle of water. But you get the idea. I'm sitting in an Access training class right now and I'm trying to find ways not to go home, get a shotgun, and stop the madness. Wait, if I go home, I'm not in class anymore, right? I'm all over the place today. It is as if my brain is fractured. I need to stop falling down. Or at least use my hands to stop the fall instead of my forehead.

As you can tell, I'm horribly bored. I was hoping I could post and get lots of comments, but since my blog is about as boring as this instructor, I better not hold my breath. More later.

Stupid Tech Questions Anyone?

2005-07-12T11:48:00.000-05:00

Today's picture represents how I feel when I come to work - only add a target to that comment. Let me clarify here, that I am NOT an IT person. I am not a tech. I am a Project Manager. And I have people calling me (instead of asking the "superusers" in their area to help them) all day for help on our computer system because I'm one of the only ones that really knows the in's and out's of it. I can't decide if this is the ultimate compliment for my knowledge or just a major pain in my ass all day. No sooner than do I really get into the mix of things when someone comes over and asks me how to print something. Okay, maybe it's not this baseless, but I still feel that way when these people have been using the same system that I have for the last 2 years. Argh.

Anyway, I'm listening to "More Than a Woman" by Tavares right now and I believe this song is passing me subliminal messages because I have the desire to don a pair of skates and the pink satin short and jacket outfit that I wore to preschool about 26 years ago. For those of you that have never lived without cable TV or call waiting, this was on the "Saturday Night Fever" soundtrack. Incidently, I ruined that pink satin outfit by sliding down a wooden slide and scratching the back of the shorts up. Isn't that cute, they used to let us slide down WOODEN slides. Never mind the kids today that get to burn their tender hineys on metal slides that are in the blazing sun all day...what about getting a splinter the size of the Chrysler building stuck in your thigh? We had it tough in our day.

Okay, I guess I had better get back to work. I've just sucked down the last of the candied chicken (more commonly known to us NS'ers as Sweet and Sour Chicken). I love sweet and sour but this was a heinous attempt at the real thing. Needless to say, it came off of my autoship for this month.

p.s. Thanks Sophie for linking me up to your page - you'll see I did the same for you here. Hopefully I can entertain...or at least bore to the point that you can go to sleep before 4am!!! Rest well my dear!

BAD CELERY

2005-07-11T18:35:00.000-05:00

Don't you hate it when you ruin perfectly good peanut butter with a disgusting piece of bitter celery? What a waste.

Pass Out

2005-07-11T15:04:00.000-05:00

Ever feel like this at work? That's how I feel today. I have no idea what my problem is. Okay, maybe it has something to do with the fact that I stay up until 1am, but come on ... give me a break okay? Some days I wonder what exactly would happen if someone walked into my office and I was face down in a puddle of drool in my keyboard. Not much since I swear that is what half of my coworkers are doing behind their closed doors.

Today is another day of downpouring rain. Sounds like a great excuse to go home and get started on my reading for pre-term starting Thursday. Yes, I'm getting off to a spectacular start. I'm about to embark on one of the most painful, harrowing, excruciating, pain in my butt journeys of my life. Yes, the MBA. Not only am I getting an MBA, but overachieving jackass that I am, I had to convince my employer to send me to Rice University, the "Stanford of the South". No, regular old U of H with the standard 20 or so classes wasn't good enough!! I have to take 4 classes every 11 weeks for the next 22 months. Yes, I'm still working this whole time. I must have my head in my mud sometimes. Anyway, I digress. The point of this was to explain that I have 3 books to read before school actually starts (July 29) and a huge binder that I have to get through before this coming Thursday. Sounds like today, with all of this rain, will be the day to get going on that!!

Y'all have a nice day now, you hear??

First Post

2005-07-10T15:55:00.001-05:00

Okay, it's time to join the rest of the technologically competent and get my blog out there. I discovered that the NS site will only contain so much information before they start cutting you off, so the rest of it is going to be here. Short post today since I'm spending more time getting the page TOGETHER than anything, more to come!

Special Thanks to BobEsq who inspired this page (please visit the link to the right to read his personal blog) - I took from his ideas (along w/ some of the code, yes I'm a big HTML cheater) to create my page.